


tapes of a dead boy

by orphan_account



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: 13 Reasons Why au, Alternate Universe - High School, Complicated Relationships, EVERYTHING IS IN LOWERCASE, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/F, F/M, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Bad At Titles, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Jungkook is confused, M/M, Suicide, idk how to tag, ill just tag as the story goes on, jungkook is stubborn, lots of swearing, very complicated, what even is capslock, yoongi is sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-04
Updated: 2017-04-04
Packaged: 2018-10-14 19:18:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10542882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: with a shaky breath, he presses play."uh, hi, is this thing working? beep boop, beep-" jungkook's finger presses on the pause button. he doesn't want to believe it—he can't believe it. the voice is all too familiar. it reminds him too much of the warmth given to him and it reminds him of the same warmth taken away from him. he's not ready to listen at all. he doesn't know when he'll ever be.ORa boy who commits suicide makes tapes to the people who caused him to kill himself and jungkook can't bring himself to listen.[13 Reasons Why AU]





	

**Author's Note:**

> soooo just to clarify everything, since it's a hs!au here are the ages and what years they're in! (these are all in their korean ages btw!)
> 
> kim seokjin: 20 (last year, had to repeat)  
> min yoongi: 19 (last year)  
> kim namjoon: 19 (1st yr in college, super smart)  
> jung hoseok: 18 (last year)  
> park jimin: 17 (2nd year)  
> kim taehyung: 17 (2nd year)  
> jeon jungkook: 17 (2nd year)  
> jeon wonwoo: 18 (last year)
> 
> (i am fully aware that wonwoo is younger than all of them except jungkook, but for the purpose of the plot he will be in his last year woops)

_“i don’t- i don’t understand, jin. why am i on these tapes? what did- what did i do?” jungkook stutters, his voice full of desperation. “you-you know the reason why, right?”_

_“of course i do, i just, i can’t tell you. not now.”_

_“why can’t you just tell me? what’s holding you back?” he wants to scream. or cry. or maybe a bit of both. or a lot of both. he’s so tired and maybe, maybe if he just jumps right now-_

_“what are you so afraid to find out? it’s been a fucking month and you still haven’t listened to your tape!” seokjin answers. jungkook opens his mouth to answer, but quickly shuts it. he does this again, until he can finally find the right words to say._

_“at least answer this, kim seokjin.” before he’s realised it, jungkook’s right in front of him._

_for the first time in weeks, seokjin looks at jungkook. of course he’s seen the boy from weeks of following him, but this time, it’s different. he makes note of all the differences of his face ever since all of_ **_that_ ** _happened. the bags under jungkook’s eyes are a detectable shade of purple, formed from all those restless and sleepless nights. from all the nightmares_ **_he_ ** _left. they weren’t there before. his actual eyes are bloodshot red, from all the tears_ **_he_ ** _gave him. jungkook’s skin is so much paler, he resembles a walking corpse. seokjin tries to remember the times when jungkook actually looked healthy; when he looked like a normal and happy teenager. he can’t. instead, all he remembers is a worn-down boy, a boy whose spirit was drained from all the people who he thought were his friends, from all the pressure society puts on him and from all the horrible decisions he’s made._

_seokjin’s train of thoughts are interrupted by the string of words that escape jungkook’s mouth._

**_“did i kill min yoongi?”_ **

-

**(a month earlier)**

there’s multiple reasons why jungkook never goes out to parties on a school night. one is because he can’t afford to waste time bringing his shit-faced friends home and two is because his first generation chevrolet camaro (which was given to him by his grandfather, a person he deeply respects) is basically his child, his precious baby; but things never go the way jungkook wants them to, so of course his two self-proclaimed best friends drag him along to the first college party of 2017 and jungkook’s not even sure he’s allowed to go with them, he hasn’t even asked his parents. and it’s a wednesday. a fucking wednesday. _are you kidding me?_ he can’t help but think.

“hyung, do you realise we’re still in high school?” jungkook asks, squished in the middle of the backseat of his car while his older friend drives his child for him. (which is honestly ridiculous because it’s his own damn car and _he_ should be driving it himself, but of course, things never go the way jungkook wants them to.)

“we-we could be, i don’t know, punished, ridiculed or whatever stupid things they do in-in these kinds of situations! imagine the embarrassment we’ll feel when we go to school tomorrow and all the teasing-”

“are you _serious?_ imagine the attention we’ll get when we go back to our old, boring, ordinary lives tomorrow. can’t you imagine the headlines on our school paper when people hear about us? _kim taehyung and friends sneak into a college party._ we’ll be the coolest kids ever!” the boy on his right side, taehyung, one of his oldest friends, replies. 

“okay. first of all, that was possibly the nerdiest thing you’ve said in a while.” their driver, kim seokjin, responds.

“i’m deeply wounded.” 

“and that “headlines” thing of yours would never happen, stupid.”

“hey!”  
  
“and if it did, _kim taehyung and friends sneak into a college party?_ there’s no way wonwoo would even allow that as their title. maybe _four idiots do something stupid,_ sure.” seokjin quips, with a little satisfied smirk on his face. 

“who’s wonwoo?” the boy on jungkook’s left, park jimin, another one of his oldest friends, asks, impatiently tapping on the armrest of the car. “also, are we there yet?”

“you mean _wonwoo-hyung_ , he’s older than you by a year and he’s also the chief editor-“  
  
“you mean editor-in-chief?” jimin interrupts and seokjin takes his time to stop the car to the nearest sidewalk to turn around and glare at the oldest among the three in the backseat. 

“anyways, as i was saying before someone rudely interrupted me, wonwoo’s the editor-in-chief for the school newspaper,” this drew oohs and ahhs from the people in the backseat.

“ok, cool, but _are we there yet_?” jimin interjects once again.

“why do you think i stopped the car?”

-

when a person goes to social gatherings, they’re normally greeted by their friends or families with smiles on their faces. with words such as “hey! how are you?” or endearing sentences or maybe even compliments. sometimes, they’re offered food, drinks, things of the like. they’re given nice and pleasant stuff, not a “what the hell are you guys doing here?” 

so of course, when "kim taehyung and friends" encounter another friend, namely kim namjoon, and said friend says “what the hell are you guys doing here?” his initial thought is to panic. and panic is what he does best.

“haha! what a coincidence! hiya hyung, how are you? we were just visiting and now we’re leaving, right guys?” jungkook tries to act normal, tries to be convincing, but the crack in his voice wants otherwise. seokjin holds jungkook’s shoulder with a tight grip and grins. “hey, namjoon.”

“what are you doing- ugh, forget that. it’s a wednesday. all of you have school tomorrow, plus with the missing case incidents-“

“ _don’t_ talk about that, hyung.” jungkook butts in for the first time.

“i- uh, sorry.” he apologises. jungkook nods, his own way of saying _it’s fine._ (it wasn’t.)

“that doesn’t change my mind though. go home.”

“but _hyung!_ we just got heeeeeere! _”_ taehyung whines with a childish pout and puffed cheeks on his face. it’s a funny sight to see, really. he resembles a dog and a chipmunk at the same time. 

“don’t tell me you’re already drunk.” namjoon sighs, running a hand across his forehead. “he’s not drunk, the kid is just energetic.” seokjin whispers into his ear. namjoon lets out another sigh before turning around.  
  
“follow me.”

-

maybe it’s the beer or the atmosphere or maybe it’s the fact that jungkook is too panicked to be able to process anything, but he wonders why he and his group of friends are stupid enough to follow namjoon into his own damn house. before they even realise it, they’re inside namjoon’s living space, behind a door. it’s one of those moments where jungkook has no idea on how he should react. (but honestly, he is a bit relieved.)

“why are we inside your house?” seokjin is the first one to speak up. he crosses his arms as an attempt to look intimidating. he doesn’t.

“because,” namjoon says, rummaging his back pocket for his key. “i’m locking you in here. at least until i come back. enjoy your stay.” before they know it, they’re forcefully pushed into his living room, one by one. namjoon jiggles the keys for his door in his left hand, twirling it with his index finger in a mocking manner and slams the door shut.

“hey!” seokjin pounds on the door. “joonie! you know we can just open the door!”  


namjoon chuckles from the outside. “you can, but i’ll have you know the my living room is locked from the inside.”  


“why do you even have a door for your living room?” taehyung asks, flickering the light switch behind him to turn on the lights.

“for situations like these, of course.” namjoon answers, placing his keys back into his pocket and turns around to leave his humble abode.

“god, i can just feel his smirk right now.” seokjin remarks and bitterly snickers at the thought. “well, whatever. just enjoy what we have now, i guess.”

jungkook takes this time to examine namjoon’s living room. _it’s very modern_ , he thinks, _but it doesn’t look very… lived in._

in the middle of everything is a giant television set on top of multiple drawers. beside it are white shelves with worn out novels and advanced textbooks lined together. in an attempt to look aesthetic, vases and plants are set on the shelves too. 

“oh.” jimin breathes. “he’s kept the paintings i’ve made for him.” on the left side are picture frames with drawings of landscapes and sceneries of multiple places with explosions of vibrant colours. however, there’s one that stands out. it’s not coloured at all, it’s plain black and white. it’s just a piece of paper, but with a leaf and a butterfly drawn and with the silhouettes of 7 boys. jungkook remembers the unwritten, unspoken message left with the piece of paper and smiles. it’s an endearing thing, really. cheesy, but still endearing.

on the sides are black couches made of some soft fabric. cotton, linen maybe? jungkook doesn’t really know; he’s not an expert at these kinds of things. in front of the couches are a bunch of coffee tables designed to look like marble; which it obviously isn’t. taehyung plops unto a couch and moans in comfort. “it’s really… nice.” taehyung notes. 

everything looks professional and clean, which is no surprise to jungkook. namjoon’s a hard working man, one of the smartest person he’s ever known, and plus, he’s rich. of course his house would be fairly decent. 

“holy shit.” his friend gasps. “this is one of the hugest-“  


“not a word, idiot.” taehyung interjects, rolling his eyes. 

“actually, it is.” seokjin calmly replies, grabbing the television’s remote that was placed on one of the multiple coffee tables.  “but seriously, that’s one gigantic tv. where does joonie get all of his money?” seokjin continues while turning the tv on and flips through all of the channels. jungkook raises an eyebrow at the nickname _joonie_ , and opens his mouth to say something, but stops himself. 

of course, his friends have no idea what self control is, so taehyung doesn’t even bother holding back.

“ _joonie?_ ” he asks. 

“taehyung-“ jimin groaned, his head falling forward into his hands to hide his shame.

“you can’t just ask him that!” jungkook scolds, internally hitting his friend on the head. 

“what? ‘course i can.” he answers.

“no! you don’t get it, do you? it’s not just-“

“it’s fine.” jungkook’s head snaps to the direction of the voice. the man himself, seokjin. “it’s just a nickname. namjoon is a mouthful, y’know? stop acting like a bunch of girls.” 

“but namjoon and joonie have the same number of letters,“

“no, they don-“

"guys-" jimin interjects.

"-t. namjoon has seven letters and joonie has-"

"guys! pay attention me!" he nearly screams, waving his arms in desperation. it catches their attention. "listen to the tv."

_“two weeks ago, a missing person report was filed for min yoongi-“_  each of their gazes land on the person speaking on the television, a caucasian girl who looked as if she was in her mid-30s. the mention of the name shuts jungkook up. he notices that everyone’s stare has shifted to him. 

_“on april 1st, two young teens wandered to an abandoned playground and found his body on one of the slides. the two witnesses said that the person was still breathing at the time but had multiple slits on their wrist-“_ jungkook felt dizzy. realisation hit his face like a bullet, jungkook feels a haunting ringing in his ears and all he can clearly hear are the thoughts running through his head. 

with a shaky breath, he manages to say, “turn it off.” his voice, along with his heart, cracks.

“kookie-“

“ _min yoongi died at the scene-“_

“please, hyung.”  


seokjin nods, hurriedly pressing the red button on the remote control. the television flashes a bright white light and quickly fades to black. _black._ jungkook ponders. “ _is that what he last saw?_ ” he thinks out loud.

“what?”

“sorry.” he murmurs. “just thinking of something pointless.”

**Author's Note:**

> so yeah! that's chapter one, if you've reached this, thank you for staying <3 hopefully i'll be able to upload another chapter by this week or next week. also, please comment for opinions & errors bc it really helpsssssss.


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